The Ritual

Last night, GC and I had boatloads we hoped to accomplish. I got home late, did a little sewing before hubs got home, and then headed to the kitchen to start getting dinner ready. When GC arrived, it was about 6:15.

It's become a ritual of ours to have a quick chat when he gets home. I ask, "Want to go sit?" He proceeds to look at the couch, ponder for a few seconds, and then say," Yeah, sure." It's the same every time. Once comfortably seated, GC usually unloads about the day's stresses. I lean into his chest, listening, and enjoy the warmth of his body and the mellow scent of his deodorant as he wraps his arm around my shoulders.

Generally speaking, GC's life at work tends more toward the dramatic than mine. In part, it's the differences in our industries (food service vs. graphic design), but also just the nature of our positions. Rarely am I the one dominating our evening conversations. Not because I don't have things to say but because I am less inclined to unload.

For all those out there that think women are the always the talkers... throw your stereotypes out the window. By far, GC is the talker in our relationship. The only time I tend to talk more is when we're having a discussion about our "feelings". Call it being a girl, or the fact that it's more socially acceptable for women to express their emotions than men, but there has never been a feeling I didn't try to articulate with the spoken word. A person of reasonable vocabulary, even I cannot fully convey some of them.

All that said, last night was no different. GC arrive. I asked. He pondered. We sat. He talked. I listened. And then I broke protocol. I let him finish, allowing us the moment to sit together quietly, then I began. I laid out a plan for the future, what I wanted my life to look like, how I thought our mutual goals and desires could be fulfilled within the framework. He listened. I talked. And then he responded.

Not because I ever thought he'd squash my dreams, but more because I am constantly and consistently seeking the approval of others, I worried my plan wouldn't be good enough, that he'd find flaws, and reasons I shouldn't forge ahead. I couldn't have been more wrong in my assessment of his reaction. More or less, the message was, "Let's make it work."

I can't tell you the relief and rush of enthusiasm I felt to have been so wholly embraced. It was great. GC is a fantastic man, and I feel incredibly blessed to have him as my partner in this world. Yesterday, was one of the first married moments where I felt very much that we were in it together, supporting each others hopes and dreams.

So you're probably wondering, what's this great plan? Well, as things progress, I'll keep you up to date on my adventures. I can say that nothing is changing immediately. The long term plan revolves around finding some of the happiness I've been missing of late, and beginning a journey of more meaningful contribution. Vague, right? Don't worry, you'll find out in due time. Let's just say I'm pretty stoked, and genuinely bolstered at the thought of moving ahead in a new, positive direction.

Be well.

Happy thought #9

A taurus through and through, I find my rest in the simple pleasures of this world; nature, friends, evening libations, a comfortable bed. My morning drive is no exception. Drained from the daily road warrior commute on the interstate (though all things considered its practically bucolic compared to the commutes of some through smog-laden urban landscapes) I decided to change my route. I now take old "interstate" 9, a winding road that could literally take you from NYC to Canada if you had 20 hours.

In my little stretch, it is dotted with farm houses, a highway on ramp, some llamas, and the little houses that cropped up from the 40's to the 80's when Lake George was still a hot spot for summer tourists. It's all the things to be loved and loathed about upstate NY. There's the odd trailer park and junk yard, but there are also winding roads amid rolling farmland, green and lush, oozing with summer and the hum of bugs. To ride that route without your windows down is a travesty.

Sure, it takes a few minutes longer. There are a stop lights and depending on the time of day you drive it, a myriad of school buses make frequent stops for little feet scurrying from road's edge until hidden behind bus doors twice their size.

But instead of rushing past, hustling from one place to the next to the next, I pause and appreciate. I notice the cute green house with yellow trim that I imagine myself living in when I'm old and gray. I have time to miss the deer or the squirrel that darts across the road. I make note everyday of the glass shop with its Harold and Maude-esque glass and wrought iron kitschy exterior. Its a journey that feeds the artist and romantic in me.

Some people remember events historically, time-centered in their recollections. Others pair the flavors and scents of a meal with their emotional history. Me? I notice the forgotten details, the subtle footprint of something loved and cared for. It's all over the road. For each day I travel, there is a new detail to notice.

So my happy thought today? The warm, humid breeze hitting my face through the car window, bursting with summer smells. The Glass Shop, and the purple and olive light reflecting off its windows. The two little kids who hopped out of their mom's car and into the waiting school bus. The chartreuse/lime/moss-hued glow of the trees as the sun shone through them. The ride.

Perfect, beautiful.

Last weekend I did a whirlwind road trip to Virginia for the wedding of one of my nearest and dearest friends, Molly. Molly met Rob about 5 years ago in Boston, shortly after moving to Bean Town to work for Americore. As one of those people who inspires you to do better, Molly teaches you to love more, dance more, laugh more, and care more. Kindness exudes from her very being, a fact which anyone who has met her, can't deny.

I am incredibly honored to call her my friend, and felt blessed last week to have been given the gift of watching her marry Rob, a person whose spirit, if possible, echos Molly's in a way it seems only fate could have arranged.

To see them together, you can't help but feel the love between them. So full of joy each was say, "I pick you, forever." It reminded me of all I could be doing to show GC how much I love him. To remind him daily of the place he holds in my heart, and to cherish the gift he has given me of his heart.

Thank you Molly, for the wonderful inspiration you are in my life. I wish you and Rob happiness and joy in your new life together. It's a blessed life to journey through its ups and downs beside the one you love. Congratulations, I couldn't be happier for you :)

Happy Thought #8

That old saying, "The sun will come out tomorrow?" Turns out it's often true. Embracing the sunshine today, and the thought of new possibilities. Oh and I forgot to mention, completely inspired by this book!

Happy Thought #7

It's summer out there! I'm looking forward to moving my car at lunch and stepping into the baking heat of a car sitting in the sun. It has always been one of my favorite feelings! No seriously, I love it. It warms me through to the seemingly eternal chill of my bones!

Happy Thought #6

One of my bests is getting married in 2 days. Heading down to VA to celebrate. Am reminded of how wonderful it is to love and be loved. This is what living is all about.

Back, and mostly unscathed!

GC and I returned from Mexico about two weeks ago (could it really be that long!?). We had a great, relaxing, beautiful time. From exploring ruins, to relaxing in the pool, to napping in our swing, and waking up to the sounds of jungle creatures in the middle of the night with GC there beside me, all and all, it was fabulous.

Apart from our journey to the hotel, which was more than a little frightening, we couldn't have asked for a better trip. A brief recap of our journey. It involved; a flight with one layover to Cancun (no biggie); a 5.5 hour bus ride to Chetumal, (again, no big deal); an accidental trip to Belize with a cab driver who could speak ZERO English, and couldn't read Spanish (awesome); a security check point that stopped us four times (because really, who goes to Belize for 15 minutes, expect people picking up drugs, dropping off drugs, picking up illegal aliens, dropping off illegal aliens, or dumb Americans who can't communicate with their cab driver); a long trip on a highway where the only words we could speak and be understood were aqui (here), izquierda (left), and derecha (right); a even longer trip on a small side road, riddled with crater-sized potholes, thick jungle on either side, and the occasional burning field in the distance, capped off with a giant (stopped) truck filled with no less than ten heavily armored Mexican Militia, all of whom hopped out of the truck to surround our now stopped taxi in the middle of night, in the middle of the jungle, for an undocumented "border check point"; a frantic cab driver who repeatedly said, "americanos! americanos!"; a wave on with a 3 foot long machine gun by one of the militia men whose expression clearly said, "give me a reason to pull the trigger"; and the final sighting of our hotel followed by an exuberant exclamation from our driver, "Arriba! Arribia!" as he gunned it up the hill where he hastily counted our (generously tipped) fare, shook our hands with "we've been through something together" enthusiasm, and disappeared into the night.

After that, it could only get more relaxing! Pictures to prove it.

day 1, cancun airport!

the bungalow

our super private, right at the edge of the jungle, porch

he's humoring me here.

main room, looking out on the pool

GC at Kohunlich ruins

me, showing you how strong I am.

I don't often misbehave (promise).

kohunlich.

more kohunlich

I can only imagine this view in its hayday!

main room

the pool.

our fantastic tour guide, herlan. seriously, he was awesome!

super steep steps.

on top of the temple.

GC and I, taking in the sights!