The Ritual

Last night, GC and I had boatloads we hoped to accomplish. I got home late, did a little sewing before hubs got home, and then headed to the kitchen to start getting dinner ready. When GC arrived, it was about 6:15.

It's become a ritual of ours to have a quick chat when he gets home. I ask, "Want to go sit?" He proceeds to look at the couch, ponder for a few seconds, and then say," Yeah, sure." It's the same every time. Once comfortably seated, GC usually unloads about the day's stresses. I lean into his chest, listening, and enjoy the warmth of his body and the mellow scent of his deodorant as he wraps his arm around my shoulders.

Generally speaking, GC's life at work tends more toward the dramatic than mine. In part, it's the differences in our industries (food service vs. graphic design), but also just the nature of our positions. Rarely am I the one dominating our evening conversations. Not because I don't have things to say but because I am less inclined to unload.

For all those out there that think women are the always the talkers... throw your stereotypes out the window. By far, GC is the talker in our relationship. The only time I tend to talk more is when we're having a discussion about our "feelings". Call it being a girl, or the fact that it's more socially acceptable for women to express their emotions than men, but there has never been a feeling I didn't try to articulate with the spoken word. A person of reasonable vocabulary, even I cannot fully convey some of them.

All that said, last night was no different. GC arrive. I asked. He pondered. We sat. He talked. I listened. And then I broke protocol. I let him finish, allowing us the moment to sit together quietly, then I began. I laid out a plan for the future, what I wanted my life to look like, how I thought our mutual goals and desires could be fulfilled within the framework. He listened. I talked. And then he responded.

Not because I ever thought he'd squash my dreams, but more because I am constantly and consistently seeking the approval of others, I worried my plan wouldn't be good enough, that he'd find flaws, and reasons I shouldn't forge ahead. I couldn't have been more wrong in my assessment of his reaction. More or less, the message was, "Let's make it work."

I can't tell you the relief and rush of enthusiasm I felt to have been so wholly embraced. It was great. GC is a fantastic man, and I feel incredibly blessed to have him as my partner in this world. Yesterday, was one of the first married moments where I felt very much that we were in it together, supporting each others hopes and dreams.

So you're probably wondering, what's this great plan? Well, as things progress, I'll keep you up to date on my adventures. I can say that nothing is changing immediately. The long term plan revolves around finding some of the happiness I've been missing of late, and beginning a journey of more meaningful contribution. Vague, right? Don't worry, you'll find out in due time. Let's just say I'm pretty stoked, and genuinely bolstered at the thought of moving ahead in a new, positive direction.

Be well.